Party idea sans sugar and fake-y stuff
My almost 9-year-old trick-or-treats. She roams the neighborhood with friends. She collects candy. She eats a couple pieces. But after the fun is done, we have another Halloween tradition: Divide and conquer. Anything with artificial colors, fake sweeteners, trans fats, high-fructose corn syrup and chemical preservatives gets tossed. Right in the garbage. What’s left (and there’s not much) goes in a candy jar. And that’s often the last we see of it. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that.
When Tess was in preschool, and we visited just a few neighbors’ houses, we’d let her pick a piece, dump the rest and call it a night. Now she helps me sort and toss (or sort and save for gingerbread houses). We talk about why the ingredients are bad, how they affect our bodies, and how there are better (and tastier) alternatives anyway. We do the same with birthday-party goody bags.
Some people rely on Great Pumpkins and Halloween Fairies and Switch Witches and other magical creatures that come in the night and swap candy for toys. But I’d rather have Tess involved in the process than avoid the conversation by letting some nighttime sprite do the deed. I want her to understand why we make the food choices we do. I want her to know that we can participate in cultural experiences like Halloween or state fairs or amusement parks without the obligatory bad food. I want her to know that the tired phrase “everything in moderation” is meaningless in a world of ingredients that shouldn’t be consumed at all.
Kids can enjoy Halloween without stuffing their faces or making it all about the candy. Their childhood won’t be ruined. They won’t turn all binge-y and weird and scarf every multicolored sugar nugget the minute they get the chance. Really. They won’t. That’s a myth.
What if Tess wants to eat something we’ve put in the toss pile? We let her. Because the surest way to get a kid to appreciate real food is to let her taste the opposite. The only chemical candy that has ever survived this test is Smarties, which I give a pass for food dye because they’re so pastel I figure it can’t be that much. And she eats, what, like a roll a year?
Now. Wait. Listen. Someone, somewhere, is saying some variation of this: “Sheesh. It’s Halloween. It’s one day a year. Lighten up and let the kids have their candy, already!”
But, see, that’s the problem. It’s not just one day a year. It’s Halloween night and class parties and community events and then the winter holidays and Valentine’s Day and Easter and birthday parties and swimming class and soccer games and the bank and the shoe store and restaurants with kid menus and the grandparents’ house and anyplace else kids set foot, including, of course, school. The sugar culture is so strong, the highly processed foodstuffs so epidemic, that we no longer have the luxury of viewing these things in isolation. It’s not just a few Halloween treats or one blue cupcake. It’s a crushing pile of chemical-laden pseudo food. And at some point we just have to make it stop.
So yes, I say boo.
And what say you? How do you handle Halloween at your house?
Some (post-publishing) thoughts, prompted by reader feedback on Facebook: Yes, it is wasteful to throw the candy away, and anyone who knows me in real life knows I walk the green talk in nearly every other way. (Heck, I even tote our recyclables around on road trips.) But I unapologetically draw the line at pseudo food, Halloween candy included.
Sure, we could skip trick-or-treating altogether, but childhood is short, and I’m not going to deprive my daughter of this fun tradition with her friends. We don’t canvass the entire town or collect a huge haul, so that’s something. And we not only use some candy for gingerbread houses — we’ve also done candy experiments. But, in the end, if it’s a choice between trash in the can or trash in her body, well, there’s no question for me.
Which is also, BTW, why we won’t donate candy (or Girl Scout cookies) to food pantries. And I’m not a fan of donating candy to the troops, either. As reader Casey Hinds (a former Air Force pilot) noted on Facebook, the military is trying to combat junk and improve troops’ health. Why undermine that?
The only answer, then, is for more people to make better choices about what goes in those treat bags in the first place. For great ideas, check out Green Halloween.
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I think why it works for you is because you do such a great job teaching and explaining WHY we want to make certain food choices. Still working on that in my house! My boys (ages 6 and 4) are the tough ones. So glad I found your blog. Very inspiring!
I’m in the same boat as you…still trying to get my daughter to care that real food is better. So I am the one who still throws things out whether she knows about it or not. I allow certain things and i’m sure my kids still eat too many things that they shouldn’t…
Kim and Stacy: This stuff definitely takes time, especially if you start when the kids are a bit older. But you know what they say about practice and patience… (But not perfection!)
Last year we did the Switch Witch and our 5 year old remembers it fondly. I’m sure she will want to do it again this year, but I totally agree with your method. Any suggestions for what we can do without “bursting her bubble” or having her question all imaginary creatures (aka Tooth Fairy, Santa)?
Aimee: Perhaps just say that you’re doing something different this year? Without addressing the existence (or not) of the Switch Witch. Tell her she’s a bigger girl now and that you’d like her to help sort the candy and trade it in for something else (better candy, a coveted toy, whatever else the Switch Witch would have brought). Would that work, do you think?
We do the Halloween Fairy at our house. “Luckily” there are many, many, many other opportunities to talk about why we don’t eat candy. My 4 year old daughter was offered a free sucker at the store the other day. She politely accepted it and then told me when we left we could just throw it away.
Ha! The store owner was happy that he could make a little girl smile and I was happy she knew what to do. Win-win!
Meridith: Now, see, that’s a case where we wouldn’t have taken the candy in the first place! I find it much easier to decline (and ask Tess to decline) in situations like that vs. during a night dedicated solely to the fun of gathering loot. So far as I know, we have yet to offend a bank teller or shoe-store clerk, LOL.
We are extremely lucky that the two hour trick or treat time is more like a street party in our town. My nine year old is the one walking up sidewalks and saying “Hi” and “No, thanks” to candy. He comes home with about five treats and generally forgets about them by the next day. Our five year old is autistic, on gf/cf diet. There isn’t a darn thing he can have except pencils and erasers.
Ah,I’m vindicated for pitching a fit when I learned my son’s Mother’s Day Out teacher was giving a lollipop every. single. day. while waiting for car line. My husband didn’t get it. His teacher didn’t understand me saying no. But YES! I’m not the only one! Because good grief, those will add up! It’s not just ONE lollipop.
Gah. You know I agree with you. You KNOW. But it gets so much harder with more than one kid. Twice the school, twice the friends, twice the sports … and twice the personalities. I think you got really lucky with Tess. One of my kids, I could see being the way she is. The other one? Not a chance. I make 80 percent of their meals, and they eat fast food maybe three times a year. I do what I can to keep the dyes out my house, and I made as much as I can from scratch. But I can’t summon the strength to fight this one too. It’s us against the world. Yes, it sucks, and yes, it’s ridiculous. I educate and educate. I teach them to read labels. I show them what chemicals do. I buy beet root powder. I do end up eliminating a good half of their candy (like you say, out of sight, out of mind), but for me to fight the full fight, we’d have to live on a different planet.
Sandra: No doubt it’s harder with more than one kid. And each child is different whether he/she is an only or one of many. But I don’t believe luck has much to do with it. Sure, individual palates may tend one way or another, but we have a lot of influence in how those palates (and habits) develop. Nature-but-also-nurture and all that. That’s not to say kids will all respond the same way or on the same timeline. But so long as we’re the primary ones feeding them, well, that goes a long way.
BTW, none of this means you have to do Halloween the way I do Halloween. You don’t! Nobody does!
Thank you for speaking out about the everything in moderation idea as gospel. I do understand that motto, and I do think it applies to real food. Sure, have some additive-free ice cream, just not at every meal. But, like you, I draw the line at non-food chemicals. Artificially dyed candy can’t be ok in our family, even once a year, because of what it does to my boys.
It kills me how every activity now has become intermarried with junk food, right down to school, like you said. My boys love a jack-o-lantern drawn on a tiny Christmas orange. We’ve done those the last two years a Halloween treat.
We have done everything from having our own halloween parties to staying a night in a hotel and swimming in the pool instead. Since half of the fun for Halloween is dressing up, when my kids go out for trick or treat, we try to have them focus on the socializing aspect and not the amount of candy they get. We also discuss all the ingredients and then trade them in for a trip to a “healthy” bakery that uses fresh, whole ingredients or organic chocolate or healthier treats that we usually don’t allow. What I noticed the most was that when my kids have had a treat that was not good for them (ie a birthday party where it would have embarassed the hostess for my kids to turn it down and I didn’t know what to do at the time) they didn’t like the taste of it. It is not easy and I know a couple pieces won’t kill them but WOW, it is so much a part of our society that it drives me crazy. We homeschool now but when my kids were in public school they were given candy as treats or rewards ALL THE TIME! So hard to control when you are trying to make good choices for your family.
Thanks for a site of like minded people, we are out here and there are ways to make this happen!
Molly
My little one is too young to get the concept but we are taking trick or treating. Her auntie and dad will probably gobble up the candy themselves. I will leave it 1 week in the house and then toss it. I like how you explain the reason why you toss as opposed to a sneaky trick
My kids don’t trick-or-treat but I use a similar method as you when my older one (8 YO, in 3rd grade) brings home candy from school for various reasons, mostly holidays. We go through it together and most of the time the only stuff left is chocolate (true: it’s Hershey’s, but still chocolate). Most candy gets tossed. Like you said, it’s not only once a year… there is so much candy coming in from school!! I do educate my son whenever I can and he knows (at least theoretically) what’s good for him and what’s not.
I got lucky last year, in that my son was so excited about trick or treating that when we were all done making the rounds ourselves, we stopped by a friend’s house that had a constant parade of trick or treaters showing up, and when they ran out of candy to offer, my son suggested we give away the candy he’d collected to the kids coming to the door! When we got home, he got a homemade whole grain chocolate pumpkin “ghost” brownie and he was over the moon
Yeah, candy’s not special anymore. THe magic is gone, it’s cheap and mass produced and ever present. Our grocery store has not one but TWO candy aisles, one for individual candy bars and gum/mints, and another aisle for the econo-sized bags of candy bars that we used to associate with Halloween. But apparently Halloween is all year round now, because the econo-sized aisle never goes away. Who is buying enough of those huge bags of candy to justify keeping an entire 2nd candy aisle filled?
“Who is buying enough of those huge bags of candy to justify keeping an entire 2nd candy aisle filled?”
I guess people buy it to fill candy bowls in their offices
I LOVE the idea of saving Halloween candy for the gingerbread house! I allow our daughter to save one jar of candy at any given time. Right now THE jar still has left-over Easter candy in it. It will be tossed to make way for Halloween candy…which inevitably will hang around until next Easter. I believe the fun is in the getting of the candy, the sorting and seeing…far more than the eating.
Now that is a great idea! I hate the thought of throwing all that stuff away. I’ve heard of people planting treats for their kids at other’s houses (esp. for allergic kids), but never just tossing everything, and that bothers me. But it’s not like we eat the gingerbread house, either! So brilliant combination! Love it!
Carla and Kathleen: The possibilities are endless, but our favorite gingerbread-house candies are lollipops (trees) and Tootsie Rolls (woodpiles and campfire logs).
I certainly agree with “everything in moderation” but I have to say I think the views on food here are anything but moderate. I find it hard to believe any of these chemicals are particularly harmful (no proof) or that “natural” things are de facto good for you (see lard, salmonella, tobacco). I’m sure this will be unpopular here. I’m not looking to cause a flamefest, and you are of course free to believe whatever you like, but please don’t represent any of this as “moderate”.
Chris: I never called anything “moderate.” Nor did I say that everything “natural” is automatically good. And, as I mentioned in the post, I don’t buy into the “everything in moderation” mantra… Perhaps you should re-read the post?
And you might also check out my Resources page, where you will find plenty of links detailing why chemical food additives indeed are harmful.
Since having our son three years ago, my husband and I have really cleaned up our food. We were okay before but now we’re good: mostly organic, local food; meat and dairy are from pastured animals who are humanely treated and we know this because we can visit them in their pastures or barns when/if we want to; no fake colors, no fake flavors; maple and honey are our sweeteners; etc.
We have an annual pumpkin carving party, and as we now have a child it’s becoming more child-centered (we had the party for years with just adults and had a blast!). I am really excited by the picture in your post, because that’s JUST the sort of thing I want to serve at the party. A touch of whimsy and holiday spirit without food dye or HFCS. Perfect. Thanks!
Cady: I made those for my daughter’s class Halloween party last year, and they were a big hit. And so easy/not fussy. I used a box cutter with a new blade to carve the little faces. But an X-Acto knife would work well, too. Took only about 15 minutes for the whole batch!
I just want to give you a different view of life – that of a 59 year old who was not allowed candy, junk food, fast food, and all those other “evils” in childhood. My mother was from Europe and only believed in “healthy” things. Candy was a nono because of sugar and food colouring. Junk food like chips and Ding-Dons was not to be eaten or brought in the house because it either “didn’t do our bodies good” or “did our bodies bad”. Yes, I understood the difference, but craved what everyone else around me was having. I do understand that “healthy eating” is a lot more common, so a child might not be as isolated when it comes to candy, pop, chips, etc… Howevr, what happened to me was that I wanted what everyone else seemed to have. As soon as I left home (16), I went on a junk food spree that lasted years. I ate MacDonald’s morning, noon, and night. I lived on Twinkies and Ding Dongs. When I didn’t have money, I ate a Mars bar for supper. I became addicted to Diet Coke. I am now a diabetic, with Stage 4 Kidney Chronic Failure and I do blame it on the severe restrictions my mother put on me in childhood that caused me to go into overdrive for the goodies I had been denied to the extent that it destroyed my health and I still couldn’t stop. In my humble opinion, you’re far better doing the “everything in moderation” than the complete denial that candy does exist and does taste good. I’m just sayin’!
Isabelle: It sounds like you’ve had a rough road. But if you read this post again (and my whole blog, actually), you’ll see that we in no way deny candy, other sweets or snacky foods. We simply believe that even those kinds of foods should have quality ingredients. And we believe in educating our daughter about why we make the choices we do, and also in having her be part of the process so that she’ll make her own wise choices when she’s older. (Again, re-read the post.) So while I’m sorry your life has been so difficult, I don’t see any parallels here at all.
“I want her to know that the tired phrase “everything in moderation” is meaningless in a world of ingredients that shouldn’t be consumed at all.”
This right here is amazing succinct wise stuff! Keep up the good work with your daughter!
Thank you, Sahara!
We own a small bakery and try to make more replacement treats every year. Our 5yo DD loves to go trick or treating, and we are trying to increase the exchanges for “healthy” treats that we make or buy from the local Co-Op for Halloween
Hi:)
Boy, reading what you wrote up there is like listening to myself talking.
My daughter just celebrated her 7th bday. What she wanted for her bday cake was real specific: a moist cake with lots of raspberries. She loves everything natural. I think family eating habits has something with a child’s point of view of food. At 3yo in her nursery school, every time she had a goodie bag from a friend’s bday she would give it to me first and ask me to check what’s good and what’s bad –usually that left her with a carton of milk only lol!– at 4 yo she already could sort those goodie bags. Now, she’s a lil no coloring no preservatives preacher:D. When asked, did I force her or turn her into a rubbish food hater, I would simply answer NO.
We talk about everything. I told her how bad food would make her sick and since her aunt is a doctor n my mom in law is a midwife.. There are plenty scientific story that can be made fun and interesting, though scary–don’t they just looove scary stories–.
If for example she wishes to eat chocolate chip cookies, then we simply bake it. As for candies, I think it’s easy. Who wants to have that when you can have a yummy sandwich and some red bean ice cream?
You should see how she loathe rainbow cake eaters:D
Sorry for the long reply. I live way in Jakarta, Indonesia, and not many people around us think alike.
You won’t be surprised to hear that I have the opposite philosophy. In our house the only Halloween rule is don’t throw up. I agree with you that the big problem is all the other days of the year (the school parties, the playdates, the banks, the doctor’s offices, the grandparents, etc.) that’s where I put my energy: teaching my daughter the concept of proportion: eating healthy stuff a lot more frequently than junk. We talk about proportion a lot in anticipation of Halloween. That’s the only way she can get to the day without having already completely over done it.
Dina,
I agree with your philosophy! As an unschooling family we believe in offering the information (i.e. my kids know that there are healthier alternatives to commercial candy, snacks etc) and have the option of eating some of the Halloween candy, asking for alternatives, eating all of it or trading it for fruit etc…. We feel that if we are always impressing our feelings and restrictions on them that they are not empowered with making those decisions on their own. My kids in general will choose the foods and snacks that are more natural, fresh and don’t make them feel sick but that is because they have tried everything and know which ones they prefer
Heather: I’m all about empowering kids through education. And, as I mentioned, I’m a big believer in letting kids taste the crap so they can better appreciate (and choose) the high-quality stuff. Just in case any of that wasn’t clear…
Hi Christina! This is my favorite Halloween post of the year
Thank you for your candid true words. I only have 2 toddler aged kids and I feel the same way but in the back of my head sometimes wonder if I’m ruining them or if people think I’m sheltering too much. I’m feeling more confident! I’m sharing your post on our FB page today – I just love it!
I love everything about this.
Oh my GOSH!! I couldn’t love you MORE!!! I just recently found 100 Days of Real Food and now YOU! I thought I was the ONLY mom doing stuff like this! I am a beginner, but I can’t wait to read through your entire blog. You are SO right. Last year, we took on the philosophy of “it’s only ONE night” when Halloween came. It made me almost sick to watch my two boys gorge themselves with their trick or treating candy. Two days later, my oldest son who has many food sensitivities and allergies, began having facial tics. They got so bad that he looked like he had Tourette’s Syndrome. His teacher even met with me about it because they were so bad. It has taken us many months to get his tics under control (they’re mostly gone) and he has had to eliminate several more foods from his diet. This stuff is serious. We will NEVER, EVER again presume to think that one night won’t matter. Thank you for your post, and for your blog.
Yikes, Lora, what an ordeal for your family. But I’m so glad you’re here. Kindred spirits unite!
As a high school girl I can appreciate the importance of healthy food. However kids that were to restricted by health (especially in an educational way) can become rather obnoxious in a social respect. I have a friend who’s very health conscious and honestly it can be pretty annoying. I think that a kid trick-or-treating around the neighborhood worked hard for that candy (especially in a neighborhood of long driveways and isolated houses) and deserves to eat it. I personally like the strategy my parents used with me. I was allowed to eat pretty much everything (with a few exceptions like caffeine before a set age) but it was clear what quantity I had and I always had to ask. For example no more than 2 pieces of Halloween candy a day. A Little Debbie once a year won’t result in a morbidly obese kid, and as I’ve seen with my friend a healthy eater can often evolve into a picky eater. Letting a kid be open to new experiences while not allowing them to gorge on sweets seems more logical to me.
Mary, it’s certainly true that some people can take restrictions too far, but you’ll see from this post and the rest of my blog that I don’t advocate disallowing candy altogether — I advocate choosing and eating it thoughtfully. So I’m not sure what you’re actually responding to?
Oh, and sadly, there’s no such thing anymore as just “a Little Debbie once a year.” As I mention in the post, junk is offered 24/7 these days, so it’s not really that black and white. And this isn’t only about weight — it’s about health and the quality of the ingredients we eat and feed our kids.
Curious, though, how your friend being a healthy eater has led to her being a “picky eater”? What do you mean by that?